Anxiety and Me

The sweaty palms, the tongue-tied words, the heart palpitations, the nervousness throughout your body. That uncontrollable feeling of everything around you falling apart. All experiences one with anxiety can go through just from one interaction. It is more common than most think and millions out there live with some form of it. It is Anxiety and it can be a paralyzing experience for most and at times can cause a major halt to living their lives. 

For most living with anxiety, it’s not fun by any means. That feeling of losing control of your body both physically and mentally can be draining. A rollercoaster of inner emotions, sometimes leading into panic attacks and all you truly want is to get off the ride at that moment. And to explain it all to the untrained eye can sometimes be an uphill battle. Now I’ve heard some say to me that anxiety is no big deal, that if you go through something enough times, you’ll eventually get over the feelings you go through when you feel your anxiety coming on. Well, they’re not entirely wrong. In some cases, going through certain situations repeatedly can reduce the feeling of anxiety. And like everything, it’s a learned process. However, adjusting and being cured are two separate things.

So What Are Some Types Of Anxiety Disorders

There are five but not limited to forms of Anxiety.

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder – the most common disorder experienced by many, chronic anxiety which can bring on tension and exaggerated worry, no matter the level of provoking
• Panic Disorder – causes an instant, unexpected intense fear of terror even though there’s no real present danger. Some symptoms can be chest pains, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and dizziness just to name a few
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – experienced by most on different levels, this disorder is controlled by recurring unwanted obsessions and compulsive behaviors resulting in the behaviors of repetitive hand washing, counting, checking, or cleaning in the hopes of preventing obsessive thoughts or making them go away. Often times people who have OCD will develop “rituals” and not performing them can increase their anxiety
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – can develop after some horrific or terrifying event in which grave physical harm or threat has occurred. Traumatic events such as violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disasters, fatal accidents or military combat can trigger PTSD
• Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia – overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness that occurs during everyday social situations. Some situations that can bring on this anxiety can be group gatherings, eating or drinking in front of others, the fear of speaking in formal or informal settings. In some severe cases, they can experience symptoms at almost any time they’re around others

Now for as long as I can remember, I’ve always lived with some form of anxiety. One of the reasons I found it difficult to make friends throughout my childhood was due to the uncontrollable feeling I would get just thinking about speaking to someone new or expressing my thoughts in class for the 1st time. It wasn’t until I finally went to therapy at 29, that I learned what type I had. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety and it explained a lot as to why I had this paralyzing feeling of self-doubt and fear each time I talked or wanted to talk to someone. It also explained why things such as parties, concerts, and sporting events were something I had to work myself up towards attending, and most of the time it meant not attending at all. 

​Looking back, I truly did myself a disservice because of my fear of self-doubt bringing on my anxiety prevented me from getting to know others, and having them know me better. It prevented me from partaking in events that at those times I thought were great and probably fun to do. Many of them were, some were not. But either way, my social anxiety limited me in developing as a person. I did have my moments of uncomfortable and awkward encounters but it just wasn’t enough for me to build a calmer tolerance for those situations. And instead, the gaps in between only meant feeling it even worse the next time.

​But going through therapy, helped even though anxiety wasn’t my main focus for going there in the first place. As I learned, anxiety goes hand and hand with depression. And through therapy, I learned different techniques to help me better handle those uncontrollable moments. Techniques that I had read about in my younger years but didn’t bother to do because at the time I thought it could never work. Techniques that may have prevented or at the least limit my 1st ever panic attack. The shortness of breath that day on top of the massive chills and the sudden urge to faint sent me to the hospital 1 day during work. A scary moment in my life that I never wanted to experience ever again. And what triggered it all was a task that all who worked there had to do regularly, greeting customers at the front door of the bank.

Recently, I had someone ask me about attending a group chat which I instantly wanted to say no to or give some excuse like in the past as to why I couldn’t. Just talking about it with them made the self conscious thoughts start to flood my mind. I could sense the chills coming right behind them. But this time I didn’t back down and ended up attending. Of course, I had to pull out every step I’ve ever used to calm myself in those situations and I made it through. And while it’s very uncomfortable for me, I’m now trying to put myself in more group chat situations with less gaps in between. It also helps to have inviting people around you who make the situation less anxious.

While there is no cure for anxiety, no magic pill, there are ways to reduce that feeling and cope better with situations that come natural to others.

​Some Ways to Reduce Anxiety

• Take a time out such as yoga, meditation, listen to music, learn some relaxation techniques, anything calming to take you away from the situation and clear your mind
• Take Deep Breaths is a technique I use for most situations I find myself in today. Depending on the level of anxiety, taking a few deep breaths can regulate your shortness of breath and calm the chills you may feel during the high points of your anxiety
• Count Slowly to 10 or more is one of my favorites to do. Often times in anxious situations, my mind is racing of worrying thoughts which contribute in the worse way, so I count to 10 to help get my mind off of the situation and the thoughts that occur before or during the encounter. Whatever number works for you is quite fine. I’ve counted to 70 once along with the deep breaths and it worked.
• Learn what triggers your anxiety is 1 of the most important things. Understanding what triggers you to have chills, nervousness and other symptoms can give you a better path on how to find a technique/s that work best for you. Sometimes writing it down in a journal and going back to read it can help even further
• Talk to someone is another great technique because as we all know we are not alone in these situations. Talking to a family member or friend about your overwhelming feelings can help to ease some of the anxiety you feel and can give you a helper when it comes to learning how to reduce your anxiety during those stressful situations. If you don’t have anyone to talk to or if you rather a professional then seeing a therapist is a great way to help develop steps towards reducing anxiety

Of course, there is a ton more to do from physical changes to mental changes that can all aid in developing a process for tackling your anxiety. I use a series of these and others to help put me in a better state of mind. And although I find my anxiety still rises at the thought of being in public events and settings, I more times than not say yes to going to these events or attending some form of social gathering. I guess in a way it’s me testing myself to see how well I can do and what still needs to be worked on.

Now as strange as it may sound, I’ve embraced my anxiety for what it is and what comes along with it. To me, it’s something that’s always going to be some part of my life. But instead of just having the cause and the effect, I’ve now added a solution. And I have no problem explaining what I go through when I’m faced with a tough situation that brings it on to others.

Anxiety is a part of mental health that no matter the level of anxiousness we all should take serious and maintain a healthy balance for it. So if you feel overwhelmed with nerves, chills, compulsive thoughts, or other symptoms of anxiety, there are so many ways to help manage it so that you can live a more comfortable, healthy life. So what are some things that make you anxious?

This month is Mental Health Awareness month and all month I’ll be writing about mental health topics. You can learn more about the different mental illnesses through your local or global mental health organizations such as the National Alliance of Mental Illness, Anxiety and Depression Association of America, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 320 Change just to name a few. Volunteer, Donate, Learn, and Educate because mental health is equally important as physical health.

Until next time, this is Tammy saying keep strong, keep positive and nothings impossible!!!

There are so many organizations out there looking for assistance. Here are the ones that I mentioned above:
320 Change – https://www.changedirection.org/320-changes-direction/
NAMI –  https://nami.org/Home
ADAA – https://adaa.org/
AFSP – https://afsp.org/

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