Understanding the Powerful Ways Suicide Effects All

Photo from Pixabay.com

Please note: This page contains affiliate links, meaning I receive commissions from purchases made through those links, at no cost to you.

Disclaimer: Suicide is not easy to talk about. This may be a topic that can be seen as a trigger for some. I ask that you please read with the caution of your mental state of mind.

As a writer and someone living with depression, there are some things that are harder to talk about than others. You’ll often hear those that talk about struggling with some form of mental illness mention a “Darkness” they may have. It is the slip into something that oftentimes has no return. And the darkest for anyone dealing with this is Suicide.

Suicide is that one act that many of us either don’t talk about or talk about in passing. It leaves those that read or hear about it send their thoughts and prayers those personally involved. While those personally affected are left wondering how and why.

In the past few years, the word and act of suicide have become a trigger for me. While I didn’t personally know this person who sparked this trigger for me, he was a positive part of my life. I have had my shares in the past of contemplating my end, and how it would be done. And while I’ve never completed the act, I’m all too familiar with that darkness that unfortunately many experiences right before.

The Act of Suicide

Suicide is the act of taking one’s own life. It is a traumatic sudden loss that is felt by those surrounding the deceased. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. In 2018, 1.4 million attempts were estimated.

There is an average of 132 suicides a day. That’s 132 lives gone per day.

And while we continue to put awareness out there about prevention, this sudden act of life lost continues to affect millions.

The Effects of Suicide on Those Left Behind

When a suicide occurs, those left behind are left to pick up the pieces of life without the deceased. The sudden loss of life this way is like no other form of grief because we are left with an unexpected emptiness and tons of questions.

For most personally affected by it, they feel a sense of loss or in some cases blame. From those that I know or have spoken to, I often hear “I never saw this coming,” or “Why couldn’t I see this?”, the guilt of not doing more sets in, and unfortunately those questions are never answered.

Some Things Those Left Behind May Experience

• Shame and Isolation from others
• Mixed emotions towards their behavior and the victim’s behavior
• Guilt, resentment, remorse, or Anger
• Suicidal thoughts of their own
• Deep depression, anxiety

When we hear about neighbors, family, and friends or even celebrities have taken their own lives, it’s natural for us to feel for those left behind. And rightfully so. Suicide is a difficult act to comprehend that for most of us, we’d never think that anyone we cared about would find themselves in that situation.

On the other side, we sometimes distance ourselves from those going through the process of grief. This may cause isolation even further. As a community of friends and loved ones, providing some support during these difficult times may help within the healing process.

Support is essential to coming to terms and going through the grieving process. Joining a grief support group could help you with the healing process as well.

When Life Becomes Too Dark

In my years of dealing with mental illness, I’ve had a few discussions about this topic to others. And what I’ve gathered from family, friends, coworkers even random strangers is that when the act of suicide occurs there is some form of misunderstanding.

As a society, most of us sympathize with those left behind and condemn the one lost. While I hear things such as “How could they do that to their family?” or “Well that was selfish, I rarely hear how difficult it may have been for them, the deceased.

And while I don’t fault them for thinking that way, it hurts me because what if I was that person, would they think that of me.

Often times we tend to lean towards one side of the story. For someone to get to the point of an end, there are some things that may go through their mind beforehand

Some thoughts that may contribute to Suicide

• The thought of being a failure or disappointment to others
• Feeling overwhelmed about their current situation
• Revisiting negative thoughts from past situations
• Feeling tired of everyday life
• Recurring thoughts of putting an end to it all
• Feeling like a burden to those around you
• A strong sense of emptiness, feeling unwanted, or long-lasting loneliness

I’ve thought if not most then all of these thoughts at different stages in my life. Fortunately for me, I was able to manage and get myself help. But many others are not that fortunate.

For those who have never experienced long term thoughts such as those above, they may find it hard to understand why someone would take their own life. Or why someone can’t shake these thoughts like others and rise above it all.

While I can’t speak for the deceased, or suicide survivors and can speak for myself. At some point, when you hit your breaking point, your mind will consume everything negative. All your current and past negative thoughts, situations you’ve experienced or are, tend to combine together and become a battlefield in your mind.

It is the darkness that most of us have seen and try to defend against every day. But when those thoughts outnumber all the positive things you’ve accomplished in life on the field, you find yourself at the point of letting go.

And that is where suicide may be waiting.

Everyone’s darkness is different and can attack differently. What someone may be going through during those last hours may seem like a form of weakness in the end to someone but it may be their last cry for help to anyone. Which is why it is so important to take care of your mental health, your mental state of mind.

Prevention of Suicide Before It’s Too Late

While we can’t be in the minds or feel exactly what someone is going through when having suicidal thoughts, there are signs that can help you try to prevent it. Here are a few signs to look for that someone may be contemplating suicide:

• Avoiding social interactions with others
• Having feelings of hopelessness, or feeling alone
• Feeling and expressing that they are better off not living
• Sleeping way too much or too little
• Dramatic mood swings
• Engaging in reckless behavior
• Talks about a way out of it all
• Giving away personal items they wouldn’t knowingly give up
• Showing extreme anxiousness or unable to show some form of control
• Speaking of themselves in a negative tone
• Feeling irritable, confrontational, or become quiet
• Putting their affairs in order as though it’s the last time

These signs are just a few to watch out for. By understanding and knowing the signs, it is very possible you could prevent a life from being lost.

But there is more to prevention than knowing the signs. Recognizing the signs is the first step towards helping someone with suicidal thoughts.

What to Do When Helping Someone with Suicidal Thoughts

For most of us, suicide is a very touchy subject. So it may not be easy to approach someone who is experiencing such thoughts. The key thing is to remember that you are there to help and you want to provide a comfortable environment for both.

• Stay calm and speak in a calming voice – assure them that you are there to help them through this difficult time
• Acknowledge their feelings and that you understand – allow them to speak what’s on their mind and give a listening ear more than anything. By letting them know you understand their feelings, it may help to ease whatever tension has built-in that moment.
• Offer positive support – try to relieve some of the negativity centered around the situation and provide some encouraging words
• Let them know that help is out there – provide places, groups, and professional resources to help them through these difficult times.

It all can be very overwhelming to know that someone you care about is showing suicidal thoughts. And no one truly knows how they would react in that situation. Which is why it is important to remain calm not just for them but for yourself as well.

A good starting point is to spark up a small conversation and see if they’ll open up to you. Let them know that you’re providing an open environment where they can express what’s going on with them.

If you find that they’re closed off, try not to see that as a sign for you to give up. Sometimes at that point, it’s best to seek some advice on a different approach. And if your concern has grown further and you don’t know what to do, you can get help from a crisis center or hotline.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is based in the United States. They provide you with trained counselors that are available 24/7. If you or someone you know is in need, you can call (800) 273-Talk (8255).

Conclusion

This is never an easy topic for me to speak about especially now. But I’ve heard one side of the story enough times to try and shed some light on the mental side of this. I think that what we forget to realize is that there’s another side. A side where someone in need of support, unfortunately, did not receive it in time.

And what we are slowly starting to learn is that when signs are seen, it is time to act.

Suicide is still a difficult act and topic. And in this situation, all parties involved are left feeling empty. Only through support and understanding of each other will we see suicide become something of the past.

God Bless, all those survivors out there. You are stronger than you thought!

And finally, have you check in on a friend or loved one today?

Until next time, this is Tammy saying Please Keep Strong, Keep Positive and NOTHING’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!