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There’s nothing like having someone you can turn to in a time of need. Or someone to laugh with or randomly checks in on you. Having a good support system in your corner is a great feeling to have. Something I’m still learning and experiencing.
From your best friend in the world to a close family member, support from those who care about you can help aid you both mentally and physically. You may find that things aren’t as scary as it seems. And building a positive circle can give you will power you may need.
However, not everyone has a good support system to fall back on. Many of us tend to deal with things on our own. Or even worse, continue the pattern from lack of support from those in our lives. It may be time to change those ways and finally find your support system.
What is a support system and why is it important?
By definition, a support system is a network of people who provides an individual with emotional and practical support.
Support is essential to our well-being all around. It helps to relieve the stresses on us mentally and physically from life. Also, it gives you a positive circle that can encourage a healthier lifestyle.
When we look at those who are in a better mindset, one of the key factors is that they have a great support system around them. And their support helps to grow them as a person. As we’ve learned positive reinforcements encourage positive ways of thinking, living, and challenging ourselves more as a person.
A good support system can provide you with an appreciation of value within yourself.
Advantages of having a support system
The advantages of having someone there to help battle through depression, anxiety, or even life’s difficult situations have great benefits.
Benefit #1 – Emotional support
During your most emotional times, having a good shoulder to cry on and confide in can be helpful. And your support system can offer just that. You may find it easier to cope with an emotional moment, especially if it’s something they’ve experienced as well. They may become that uplifting spirit that you need.
Benefit #2 – Social support
There’s no worse feeling than being isolated with no one to talk to. I’ve experienced my share of having no one to really turn to when I needed a good talk. Your support system can offer you a listening ear while also giving you someone to chat with through difficult times. And that can make a world of difference.
Benefit #3 – Healthy distraction from problems
Who doesn’t like a distraction from difficult times? I know I do. By allowing your support to provide you with a healthy distraction, they can help take your mind off of things for a few. Healthy distractions are good and can help to heal the mind mentally, preventing you from slipping further into despair.
Benefit #4 – Builds self-confidence and self-esteem
A good support system will offer you encouragement, and never try to break you down. By having a positive circle around you, they can keep out those negative thoughts. And this in return will help you to feel more confident, giving you motivation and drive to accomplish things on a different level. And it’s all from positive reinforcements.
Benefit #5 – Relationship building
Aside from being a shoulder to cry on or words of encouragement, having good support can also bring a great friendship. You’ll have someone there through the good days as well. And together you can share in your growth. Also, someone to count on in your time of need.
The disadvantage of not having a support system
As we can see, there are great benefits to having good support behind you. However, there are those who haven’t quite found their support system. And this can make dealing with good and bad experiences even more difficult. Coming from my own experience, I felt alone in the world. As though there was no one there to voice troubles to. And I’m sure others have felt the same.
The negativity may continue to build as you may believe that no one cares. The lack of good support can contribute to further depression, loneliness, anger, frustration, and a list of negative thoughts. It can bring down your morale. And in some cases, bring a form of jealousy towards others who has strong support.
How to develop a good support system
Developing a support system that works for you depends on your needs. Usually, your support comes from family members and friends. But in today’s world, we’ve learned that support can come from a variety of areas.
From the workplace to city meetup groups and online communities. You can find support just about anywhere. To build a strong support system, those who are in your everyday life should be your starting point.
They’re the ones who you confide in on a regular. The ones who want to see you succeed in life just as much as you want for them. The ones that ask you how your day is without a hidden agenda. You may have a long list of people to fill these spots. Yet it doesn’t hurt to weigh out some things before naming them the best.
When you’re looking for someone to be there for you during difficult times, there are a few things you may want to consider.
3 things to consider when building a good support system
Before making a decision, here are 3 things to consider for a good support system.
1. Be clear on what you need in a support system
Whether it’s to help you through your depressive episodes or to encourage you through difficult times, sit and figure out your needs. Maybe you need someone who’s going to mentor you. Or you need a listening ear. Or maybe you need a new friendship that can cover all those things.
Whatever your needs are be sure to understand them. You may ask yourself what you wish to receive from having support from this individual?
2. Make a list of trusted people
Once you’ve figured out what your needs are, make a list of people in your life that may or already fit those needs. This list could be friends, family, co-workers, your therapist, even an online community. By making a list of pros and cons, you can see what this person has provided or can provide for you as far as support goes.
Often times we find that this list is shorter than expected. And that’s okay if it is. So whether it’s 5 or 100 people, ask yourself who am I most likely to confide in or who has my best interest in mind?
3. Consider your role in your support system
One way to assure that you keep a good support system is to take part in it as well. While the system may be built for you, it can give you the opportunity to return the favor. Strong support is built on an equal bond that is shared. And it can also make for a great long-lasting friendship. Not to mention, give you that added positive boost in your mental well-being.
So try to pick consider those who bring a positive vibe to your life. And don’t forget to give back that same energy, even if you feel you’re still working on leading a positive lifestyle. Ask yourself what can I bring to this relationship?
Never take your support system for granted
One of the best things that can come from you having a good support system is the strong bond you’ve created. Here you have someone that is there to uplift you, listen to you, and try to help you through life’s sticky situations.
While taking in the support of your friend, family member, or co-worker, be sure to return that sentiment. Not only does it grow your relationship, but it also shows them that they are appreciated for their efforts. It also brings a more positive balance for you both, mentally. Remember, don’t be a one-sided friend and always return your appreciation for them.
My personal story
Growing up my biggest supporter was my mom. She was the one who encouraged me to try new things while supporting my talents and decisions. And as I got into adulthood, she still was there to help me through life.
While she was a great supporter, over the years I really hadn’t thought about surrounding myself with others who were like her. I figured I’d have her around until I was 60. So when she died in 2008, I was left with a huge void and having to deal with things on my own.
I come from a huge family, but none fit the role that she provided for me. And I only had 2 friends and they didn’t fit my needs either. So, I was left struggling to find anyone to help me with my depression and at the time grief.
After some time, I learned to be my own support system and encourage myself to face getting up in the morning every day. At the end of each day, I’d go to the bathroom and became my own grief counselor.
But it wasn’t just with grief. I was my counselor and encouragement for everything after that. Today, I’ve managed to find some pretty caring and interesting people who’ve shown me the biggest support. Their belief in me, keeps me going these days.
My circle has grown from 1 to many. Vanessa, Beth, Ryan, Frankie, Chris, and Nick, Kurt, and Cathy have not only encouraged me but have been there to listen on some of my rough days.
Even though I’m the type who doesn’t like to bother others with my burdens, they’ve assured me that they are there for the good and bad. And I try to show my appreciation to them every chance I get. They’re a good start to a good support system for me.
Feel free to read more about my road to a support system here.
Conclusion
Having someone there to support you unconditionally is so important these days. Life is tough enough on your own. Having the right support can make a world of difference. Just remember that you don’t have to face everything alone. And that there are those who want to see you succeed. Think about those in your life. Who are some of the people in your life that show unconditional support? Comment down below.
Until next time, this is Tammy saying keep strong, keep positive and NOTHING’s impossible!!!
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I have my husband and sister as a great support system. My other sister and I had a falling out a year ago and I’m sad that I don’t know if we will ever get back to what it was.
Thank you for reading my post Karen. That’s so awesome that you have your sister and husband there for you. No matter how big or small the circle, it’s always the presence of someone in your corner that counts. I do hope that 1 day your other sister and you will sit down and come together, even if it’s just to say “hello, how are you?” Sometimes it takes little words to get people back to talking. I wish you the best of luck and continue to have that great support system around you.
Amazing and so many great points on the importance of having a positive support system around you, especially when it’s needed!
I have a very very small circle as I’m not a big fan of being in groups/cliques. Plus I’m a loner and prefer to be by myself lol. But you are right when you say it’s good to always have someone in your corner. There are so many benefits to it.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Rebekah! I’m like you. I’m a loner too and have a small circle around. I appreciate those that I can turn to on those days where I don’t want to be a loner because some days it can get a little too lonely.