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This pandemic has shown us that the workforce was in desperate need of change. After being on lockdown for some months, many people out there began to re-evaluate their positions at their jobs. Work in a pandemic showed that many were in need of a career change.
Never did I think I’d be one of those people. I had spent my days going back and forth to my 9 to 5. Eleven hours of my days were spent outside my home, working as an Administrative Assistant.
What was so different about my job was that the forty-hour workweek consisted of working for two separate companies in the same office. And that meant learning about two individual companies and how they operated.
I’ve always prided myself on my work ethic. Growing up, I was taught to go above and beyond when doing my job, show up to work every day on time, do what is asked of me, and always ask for help when I need it.
But after having a break and trying things that I enjoyed, I started to re-evaluate what I was gaining from this job and whether it still benefited me to work there once this pandemic was over.
The enjoyment of being an employee working during a pandemic
While quarantine was torture for some, it was a much-needed vacation and revelation for me. For the first time in seven years, I was able to focus on things that I enjoyed. From starting my blog back up to picking up new arts and crafts projects, I explored things that I didn’t have time for while working my grueling 9 to 5.
But it also made me think about many things that I’m sure many of you went through the same. It made me think about how my world would be once quarantine was over, once this pandemic was over. Unfortunately, I was the only employee in the office that couldn’t work from home. Well, that they wouldn’t allow me to work from home.
And at first, heading back to work during a pandemic, wasn’t that bad.
And it was then that I noticed something about my job. In May of 2020, I worked two days out of the week in a pretty empty office. The things that used to take me days to complete took me no more than a few hours.
That also meant that my workload for the day allowed me to go home early. No complaints from me because I did not want to be outside in an empty New York City. It just didn’t feel like home seeing it that way.
And while I wasn’t supposed to be working because I wasn’t an essential worker, on those days, I didn’t quite mind. It meant every few days, and I could get some fresh air and listen to the animals walk around without the interruptions of human footsteps.
I saw my world in a different light, and it wasn’t bad.
The struggle of being an employee working during this pandemic
But as the days grew into months, my two days a week turned into three, then four before finally five. Now I know what you’re thinking, “It was only a matter of time before things would turn back to normal.”
You’re 1000% correct. I wouldn’t have minded going back to work full time if it was a job that was worth it. See, the more I worked after quarantine, the more truths I learned about this job I had. The unique situation I had started seven years ago was no longer working for me.
And I realized that I had always been considered less than from the beginning. I was becoming more tired from traveling daily, sitting for 8 hours at my desk, and stretching my work to last me for the week. Like I was doing so many years before.
Before I knew it, my blog was put on hold, and my crafting of bracelets was no longer a stress reliever. I found myself sleeping more than anything. But it wasn’t the daily work task that drained me as much as the work environment.
Like so many out there, my job was a toxic environment for someone like me, whose managing my depression was a top priority. But coming back from quarantine and working in this pandemic, it seemed as though some of my co-workers’ true colors started to show more.
And my mental health was starting to fade.
My breaking point that led me to my departure
I never thought that my job would break me mentally. I have had a few jobs before this, some equally frustrating, but none pushed me to the point where I found myself.
In July of this year, I had finally had enough. I remember getting ready for work one day like I had done so many times before. Standing there in my shower, it eventually hit me. A paralyzing fear of having to go to work that day left me in a pool of my tears.
I called out that day. My mind flooded with questions. What was I doing? Why was I busting my ass for a job only supposed to be a temporary fix for my situation before? Questions began to flow about my salary, my treatment at work, and the lack of growth or challenges.
The one thing that I worked so hard to manage had unraveled, and I struggled to piece it back together. I had shut down, and it wasn’t just at work but everywhere. At home, at my two friends’ softball games, at outings, I wasn’t myself. I was tired of being treated like the office mule, and it was starting to show.
I pulled away from everyone around me and found myself crying at my desk daily, but even worse, angry at those at work. After all these years, I had finally reached my breaking point.
A heartfelt conversation can change everything
When I say that I genuinely hated going to work, I truly hated it, and it showed. My co-workers on one side of the office didn’t make it any easier to bear. They felt the need to talk to me in a demeaning way and as though I was uneducated. This wasn’t new. And when they weren’t making me feel like a mistake, they were ignoring me day in and out.
This did not go well with my depression which had come back full-blown. Old ways were also starting to creep back in. The last time I had self-harmed myself was back in 2007 and for me, it was becoming an option once again.
It wasn’t until my friends invested more time in me during a get-together. And I’m glad they did. Usually, I work through my depressive episodes on my own. However, this one was different because I had others there who really cared.
They, along with my sister, assured me that my mental health was more important than the environment I was working in. That no matter how hard I worked, nothing was going to change. I was never going to have a better salary or be appreciated for my worth. And they were right.
And three weeks after that conversation, I put in my two-week notice. It was the most satisfying moment. It was a lifted weight off of me. And I was free to take back my life.
Weighing the Pros and Cons of leaving work during a pandemic
Most were taught that you should only leave a job once you have something better lined up. And doing this during a pandemic and unemployment through the roof was a solid statement to look at.
Well, I found myself at my third strike when it came to that logic. After weighing all the pros and cons for myself, it just made my decision to leave my job easier. Scary for sure, but when factoring in where I was mentally, I had to think about my health for a change.
Leaving a job at any time is never easy because you’re not sure where your following income will come from. Often we feel trapped by the paycheck, no matter how small or large it may be. In my case, for all the work I was expected to do daily, it was very, very little compensation.
And yet so many employees hesitate to make that change. However, there are always options aside from feeling stuck. With a little dedication, investing in yourself changes the dynamic of your worth as an employee.
Here are some other factors that play a part in exiting from a job:
- Lack of career advancement
- Bad work environment
- Family leave
- Desire for a different career path
- Mental health/Mental breakdown
- Better job opportunity
- Continuing your education
- Feeling undervalued/unappreciated
And a lot of these factors still hold up during this pandemic. Some even magnified for those out there who are going through some of these situations.
I had to look closely and research leaving a job due to a mental breakdown. And found that the cons outweighed the pros for staying.
Conclusion
Leaving my job without having another lined up, especially during a pandemic, was probably one of the scariest things I’d ever done. It’s the unknown that can determine whether you stay stuck or not. And I weighed a lot of factors before making my decision.
I followed the rules for so long, and I don’t regret my decision at all. I wanted to try something different, and I don’t know where it will lead me.
Although I don’t have a new job as of now, I found my passion for writing again and just started to put myself out there as a copywriter, graphic designer, and social media manager.
My mental breakdown and the conversation with loved ones allowed me to see that sometimes change is needed. This pandemic has shown a lot of people that their self-worth is more valuable than before. I definitely understand that now.
Until next time, this is Tammy saying keep strong, keep positive. And NOTHING’s impossible!!!
