Checking In: How Something so Little Can Be Meaningful for Someone

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When it comes to checking up on one another, we often tend to push it off for another day. In some cases, it’s even longer. While some of us may have a list of others we know, how often do we check in on more than one or two people?

My phone doesn’t ring. No one sends me any text. I have no one checking up on me. All things that too often, many people experience when they’re dealing with mental illness. And I’m no exception to this.

But it doesn’t just happen to those dealing with a mental health issue. I’ve spoken to many people over the recent years, and the sentiment has been the same. They all wished they had someone to check in on them more often.

What does “checking in” on someone mean

In this busy world that we live in, it’s understandable that time can get past us before we send a text to someone to see how they’re doing. Busy schedules and life get in the way. And the sense of feeling unwanted begins to creep in. And before we know it, those relationships that were bonded start to pull apart.

So, what does it mean to check in on someone?

The biggest misunderstanding that I’ve learned from talking to others is that they feel the only time they need to check up on someone is when that person is in need or has reached out first. And while this is only one-half of the meaning, it’s not always the full understanding.

Reaching out to someone to find out how they’re doing doesn’t necessarily have to fall under the umbrella of whether or not they’re going through a mental or physical crisis and have reached out to you. By you reaching out to them, it can also show a sign of care or simply that you’re thinking about that person at that moment.

Sometimes what is not realized at that moment is the impact that your random text or call may have on that person. Whether they’re going through a good or bad day, it could manage to give them that extra boost they were looking for. It shows them that you care, that for the moment someone was thinking about them.

And it can make a huge impact on their mental well-being. It’s that little human interaction needed, even if it was through a text message or phone call.

How leaving someone alone can affect their mental health more

When there is little or no interaction with others, oftentimes, that person may start to feel the emotional and physical effects of being alone. It begins to break down their mental state of mind.

As social creatures, we function best when we have those moments of chatter, laughter, and deep conversations with one another. Without it, as the days go by, that’s when those effects start to kick in.

A person can begin to feel socially isolated from the lack of human interaction and take on the act of continuing that isolation further by no longer involving themselves with others.

Some other feelings that may occur are:

• A feeling of loneliness
• Anger towards others or themselves
• A feeling of less than/disregard
• Uncared for or not loved
• Not as important or equally important
• Disappointment
• Lack of trust

Ways you can stay on top of checking up on someone you care about

With so many ways of communicating these days, we’ve come a long way from the basic box phone of the late 1800s. And seeing as this is so, there’s no excuse not to brighten up someone’s day.

A lot of these ways are simple and don’t take up a lot of time.

If you’re anything like me and have anxiety calling others, then a text message is a good way to do an instant check up on someone. Leaving a text message or even a voicemail if they don’t pick up, just may turn out to be a much needed pick me for the person on the other end.

Here are some starter text messages you can use to check up on someone

• “Hey, took a break from work. Just wanted to see how you’re day was going?”
• “I have a question (random but engaging) for you. You got a minute?”
• “Get ready cause we’re going for lunch today”
• “Hey, I saw this ___ and it reminded me of you”
• “No need to respond. Just wanted to say hope you have a great day” (my favorite)
• “Hi, just wanted to know how you’re doing?”
• “I just saw your post on Instagram, and wanted to know if you’re doing ok”
• “Hey I’m in your area today, wanna meet up for a bit”

A simple text can lead to quick open conversations, of course, depending on the person.

Here are a few other ways you can stay on top of checking up on someone

• If you’re heading out to an event, invite them along. This is a good way to not only check on someone but spend time with them after a long break away from each other.
• Schedule a day and time for a phone call just for weekly or monthly check-ups. It’s surprising how we manage to find time for one another when we schedule fifteen minutes to a half hour out of our day just to check up on a friend or relative
• Send them some flowers, a small gift or email to show that they’re not alone and that you care
• Facetime or video chat during your lunch break. If you both are busy or stress, then this would be a great icebreaker from working.
• Offer to help or assist them with anything that you both can handle. Maybe they’re struggling to renovate their room or need help with this week’s groceries

A few minutes out of the day can go a long way for someone, no matter the situation. And it can go both ways. After your interaction, you may feel equally good about the rest of your day. Many of these things don’t have to be an everyday occurrence. But doing this from time to time does make a helpful impact on all parties.

Becoming a more selfless community when it comes to checking in on others

Checking up on someone, especially someone you care about, seems to be more of a distant act. Because life is more difficult than it was thirty years ago, we find ourselves focused on as few people in our circle as possible. Of course, there are a select few that are a given when it comes to chatting (parents, siblings, grandparents).

While others may miss out because the relationship bond isn’t strong enough. If you could spare five minutes in your day, would that make a huge impact? In a lot of cases, it would. Checking up on someone in the simplest form can be seen as an act of endearment and kindness, and if you want to look at it this way, it is a good deed.

During this pandemic, our mental health has been badly hit due to quarantine. This act of caring is needed more now than ever before as we’re beginning to see an uprise in depression. However, this can also be the start of a new normal for our society.

My experience with this topic

I wanted to write about this topic because I’ve had the experience of living an isolated life. While part of it was by choice, most of it wasn’t. And it all ties in with my depression. I am one of those who don’t receive phone calls and very few text messages from others.

My phone doesn’t ring, and most of my texts come from my sister when I’m not in the house with her.

And oftentimes, I’m told that if I need anything, just to call or text. That statement, while meaningful, can also be harmful to someone who has little to no human interaction daily. It may make that person feel as though they are important enough to talk to while in need but nothing more.

In a way, it may make them feel socially isolated and, at times, not worthy enough to be thought of. From my own personal experience, I’ve felt this way for many years. It has become the norm for me, especially a few years after my brother passed. But I’ve also taken a look at myself and how I fair when it comes to checking up on others.

And I give myself a big fat F. However, over the past three years, I’ve worked on changing that. While I now give myself a D, I wanna do better. Because no matter how little or many of a human circle they may have, everyone needs someone to ask them how they’re doing or to wish them a great day.

And while I still don’t receive phone calls and very few texts, I have hopes that one day, that will turn around not because it’s mandatory or necessary. But because they want to.

So, what does the term checking up on someone mean to you? Have you checked in with a friend or relative today? Comment below and share your thoughts.

Until next time, this is Tammy say keep strong, keep positive. And NOTHING’s Impossible!!!